it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
