i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize