found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
