Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the condom got lost in my hair
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
