I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize