I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
