Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
