so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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