So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
false alarm, still single
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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