Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize