I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
