I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
