I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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