They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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