Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
