Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
