im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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