it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
