whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
