My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
