There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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