omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
