Pappa wants mamma naked
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You took a bar mat shot.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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