I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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