'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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