What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
