is your mom at the bar?
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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