Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
