Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
