i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Every concussion has its silver lining
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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