Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
