Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
