Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This baby is an asshole
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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