you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
