Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
