He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ketchup is God's man juice
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
