ugly people sure do ruin things
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
