turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
