That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
