these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
