Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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