Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
