her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
they're like a gay fantastic four
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
