I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize