I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
