I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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