It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
