Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
