At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
