I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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