We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
