the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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