I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
