is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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