I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
