There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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