My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
