I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
