If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
