i dont even know how to be here
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
