i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
