Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
