You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
