Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
