i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
